Picking It Up
by MyIllicitLover
Summary: "Do you think we could ever pick up where we left off?" The gradual rekindling of Eli Goldsworthy and Clare Edwards begins here.


Author's note: This is kind of how I picture the upcoming EClare plot at the Frostival going. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Degrassi in any way, shape or form.

"Do you think we could ever pick up where we left off?"

The words bounce around inside Clare Edwards's head as Eli Goldsworthy stares at her with one if his intense stares that somehow isn't as intense as it used to be. And she realizes that she and Eli don't really know each other anymore. Sure, she's seen him in the hallways and they've exchanged a word or two. She's even seen him outside of school several times when she runs into him and Adam, but she doesn't really know what's happening in his life. Besides the fact that he's bipolar, which even if he hadn't admitted himself would have already made it's way to her eventually, as it seemed to have circulated around the school in almost record time. But it's old news by now.

And, giving Eli the benefit of the doubt, she assumes that he hasn't been keeping any tabs on her life. Which further proves her point that they are no longer on the same page in their lives. Neither of them knows what the other wants or how they've changed in the months they've spent apart. Which is why Clare has to give Eli an apologetic look and say, "Eli, right now, I don't think that would work."

His face falls and she feels horrible telling him this but he needs to hear it. There cannot be any more miscommunication between them. There cannot be anymore of one wanting more than the other can give. Their whole relationship had almost always been plagued by that and wasn't it funny how that happened? Clare wanted more than Eli was able to give her and so she gave him time and space to figure out all his feelings. Fast forward a few mostly happy months later, and Eli suddenly wants more than Clare can give him. Needed more. But unlike her, Eli failed at being able to give her space and because of that their relationship was terminated.

And now Eli was back, wanting more once again. And where the hell did this come from anyways? He hadn't shown any interest in pursuing her again since the end of their last school year, and they had ended on mostly good terms. They weren't friends, per say, but they tolerated and even enjoyed each others company every once in a while.

So what's so bad about being with Eli again, Clare began to wonder. They had something good, great even and they've both matured, are both better than they were before. And she were great with him, she knows that. He brought out the good in her that made her seem even more saintly while also unleashing her not as saintly side, allowing her to let her guard down, and it was exhilarating. Why wouldn't anyone want that back?

But even throughout all of their amazing times together, all their urban adventures and heated kisses in Morty and Eli's house and Clare's house and pretty much anywhere come to think of it... They ended up unhealthy. They both reached their breaking points and shattered at the hospital that night and haven't stopped shattering since. Why would anyone want that back?

"I don't think us, together, would work, Eli. Not right now at least." She began to give a slightly wavering smile and tried to keep it from faltering completely from the uncertainty in her voice. "We need to figure things out between us first. We could start off as friends... Maybe?" Clare asked hopefully.

Eli smiled softly at her and sighed in relief inwardly because hey, at least she didn't hate him, right?

"But Eli, I need to know that it won't end like it did before," she declared firmly. "That they can be different for us. I don't want either one of us to go through what we did last time, especially if our friendship does... evolve," she finished lamely and blushed.

Eli couldn't help but smirk at Clare's overall awkwardness, but quickly became serious. "I'm sick, Clare," he told her. "You know that. And I'm not saying that things won't be different because I'll try and try and try again to make sure that they are but..." his smile saddened and his voice matched it "I'm always going to be struggling with it. My illness, I mean," he clarified.

"I know that," Clare replied softly. "But you're getting help, right? As in, you have a therapist and you're medicated and such?"

"Yeah, I am. But that's not the magical cure. There is no cure. You have to know that." He stopped, trying to figure out how to word what he needed to say next. "You also need to understand that sometimes I'm just a normal teenager," he smirked. "Sometimes, whatever I'm feeling can be chalked up to 'teenage hormones'." Clare looked confused and he tried to segue out of this somehow, quickly. "What I'm saying is, don't try to... talk me off a ledge every time I show an emotion, extreme or not. I've... I've been down roads like that with people lately and it's not fun for anyone."

He looked at Clare and she was nodding slowly. "Is that all?" She asked.

He chuckled. "Not by a long shot, but we'll work on it together, when we get there. If you want to get there...?" His sentence ended in the form of a question and she knew he was looking for a conformation from her.

As much as practical Clare thought that being together with Eli was probably going to cause some kind of trouble for both of them, and it wasn't very practical at all, she couldn't help her smile. Clare was beginning to warm up to the idea of Eli. Of seeing him after school and talking about books and the lack of their similar tastes in music and just life in general. Of talking to him in the halls and flirting with him and seeing him smile whenever he saw her. Of adventures with just the two of them, and with Adam also. Of getting to know him again, as well as refreshing her memory on the old ways of Elijah Goldsworthy.

So she took his hand and he smiled at her, a real smile that made her heart skip a beat just like it used to, and she knew that somehow, it would work out for them. They could have what they had had again. They could pick up where their happiness left off.


End file.
